Hey Dad, it's been a year...

So at this time last year I was in Taiwan, making daily trips to the hospital in Taipei because you had a stroke. When I found out the reasons for it I almost could've smacked the living daylights out of you. Of course, you were already unconscious. You never did wake up. Not the entire time I was there. I felt like I never really did say goodbye properly. Dammit Dad! You would think that someone with your medical training would know to get treatment for Diabetes and friggin high blood pressure. And maybe, just maybe, if you had been getting treated for that they may have spotted the prostate cancer that actually killed you!

Because we didn't nearly have enough time together...

I know, I know, you were 65 and that should have been time enough. But it wasn't, really. I always thought there would be MORE time. Especially since you were the youngest sibling in your family and Grandma lived to be 93...besides your brother and sisters are all still going strong. I always thought there would be the chance for us to sit down and have that long, father to son "come to Jesus" talk where the two of us would get to say everything we needed to say and completely clear the air between us. Everything about you and Mom. Everything about you and Tina. About how I felt I was robbed of a dad when you left us. About how I wish you would spend more time with your grand daughter. About how great a Dad you were when I had you...

I never did get the chance to thank your for my sense of humor, my wit, and my artistic talents. I know my athletic ability is from you, and you were part of the reason I decided to join the Army. I get some of my smarts from you, and my common sense and abiluty to problem solve comes from you too! I wish you had the chance to make me less of a momma's boy growing up, but after you left us I guess that was not to be. Heh.

I am glad that we reconnected before you died. Even if we didn't reconnect ENOUGH. Heh. But you brought joy to my family, and my daughter knows that you loved her while you were here, and I guess that will be enough for me. I'm sorry we didn't get to do the "father and son" things that many men do together...but at least you did take me fishing, went to my soccer games, and lent me your Porsche for the High School Dance.

You weren't the perfect father, but you were my father, and that made you perfect enough for me.

Miss you Dad...rest in peace.